1. "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission."
2. "It's better to do your own thing as long as you're happy."
3. "I will marry the man of my dreams and live happily ever after, even if my dad is not happy."
I've heard these sayings more than once in my fourteen years of working with college ladies. For some strange reason young ladies believe that if they get the ring and man of their choice they will automatically be happy. If they man causes their heart to "skip" or "race" and they have things in common, it must be right...right?
I married the right man, at the right time, with the right people present, with God's blessing, and a heart that was as full of love as possible at that age. It did not make me automatically happy - did I say that? I was just about as happy as I was before I got married. Marriage did not change my character, it revealed the "leaks" and "weaknesses" in my character. I was basically selfish, unrealistic, and spoiled. Because we were in God's will, we were able to grow in the Lord and in our marriage without having to overcome obstacles of our own making.
1. It is easy to ask for forgiveness, yes, the Lord will forgive if we just confess and ask. I John 1:9, Psalm 86:5 - For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in
mercy unto all them that call upon thee. The problem is that every action causes a natural reaction. Your illegal actions have their own consequences. God will forgive you for going 55 mph in a 30 mph speed zone, but you will have to pay the fine. If you cross "lines" you will carry a burden of guilt, bad memories, and regret. Don't accept this philosophy - it is immature and not scriptural. Asking for permission, a blessing, or approval from authority is the wise way. Your life is too precious to make decisions upon "whims".
2. I've seen young ladies run away from home or leave home without their parents' consent for reasons of "happiness." The devil is so deceitful! I've NEVER heard a lady tell me that she was glad she ran away, left home, or hurt her parents. NEVER have I heard a godly lady brag about eloping in the night. I have always heard, "I wish I had a big wedding with my daddy giving me away" dozens of times. I remember the weeks after I was married. I was young and naive, the "happily ever after" idea was in my mind. I was up to my elbows in dirty dishes, my laundry was piling up and I didn't have a washing machine, I was exhausted and sick, and I was bewildered. I thought to myself, "This is not judgment. God is in this. My parents are 100% for this, my preacher is 100% for this, his parents were 100% for it, and his pastor was 100% for it. My grandparents are happy, his are happy." Because I had no guilt or regret, a peace came over me that this is "normal", this is life. Wake up and smell the coffee, girl! If you do wrong in order to do right, this "peace" will be a long time in coming or may not come at all when the trials and regular troubles of life come.
Proverbs 15:20 - A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his
mother. 21Folly is joy to him that is destitute of wisdom:
but a man of understanding walketh uprightly. 22Without counsel
purposes are disappointed:
but in the multitude of counsellors they are established. 23A man
hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due
season, how good is it! 24The way of life is above to the wise,
that he may depart from hell beneath.
3. When your parents are not happy it is cause for pushing the "pause" button. The wise young lady would push the "stop" button until the Lord pushes the "start" button. Your dad has so much more experience, he knows you and knows what it takes to care for you and ensure your best interest. If your parents have a good marriage and love the Lord and love you, why would you reject their input or their advice?
I recently was reminded of a great quote, Miss Rainey would always use this in class: "God always gives His best to those who leave the choices up to Him." When you relinquish your will and submit to the Lord, through his authorities in your life, you will ALWAYS end up with the best. Sometimes it may not be a matter choice, but of timing. The problem is that you don't know what you don't know - but the Lord does!
definition of submit - accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another.
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