Get Real!

Photo: Jessica with Mrs. Cathy Berry.
As Christian ladies, we should be all about holiness and appropriateness, but what about being "real?"  The holiness, standards, appropriateness, modesty, etc...have more impact on others when presented in an attractive and realistic way!
Jessica just loved listening to Mrs. Berry at the Bethel Baptist Church ladies' conference.  Her first comment was "Mom, she's so real!"  That changed her whole opinion of what a ladies' conference is about.  It's not about us showing off how spiritual we are, but how we are all struggling to be better Christians.  It's not about "arriving" but how we learn and grow during our "journey."
Mrs. Berry told on herself, said things that I think about saying, described feelings that I have a hard time describing, and did it all with humor and the joy of the Lord.  If anyone was offended I feel sorry for them.  I had to have a hankie just to wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes throughout the sessions.
Mrs. Westmoreland and her daughter, Heather, are also such "real" ladies.  They are beautiful, thoughtful, loving, and just a picture of femininity.  They didn't have to say much, they just glowed.
When I got home I emailed Mrs. Berry to thank her for giving her life to teach ladies around the country.  She responded and then I got up the courage to ask her a very important life-changing question  -  One that had been on my mind for several days.  After I typed the question, I thought and thought, should I send it or not?  Will she think I'm an idiot?  Well, I thought about all of her lessons and how "real" she was, so I decided it wouldn't hurt to ask.  The question...."What kind of make-up do you use?"  :)
She responded right away!  I was thrilled.

Titus 2:7 In all things showing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine 
showing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, 
8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the 
contrary part may be ashamed,having no evil thing to say of you. 
9 Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again; 
10 Not purloining, but showing all good fidelity; that they may adorn 
the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things.

Gold Medal Christians

(photo: my dad, Joe Simmons, basketball team captain, U.S. army, accepting tournament trophy, 1956)

Olympic Gold Medal Athlete - what prestige! what family pride! the medal will be displayed in a prominent place in the home for all visitors to admire.  But when the athlete sees it he will have a different point of view of the prize.  He will see early morning training sessions, muscle aches, loss of social activity, loss of a "normal life", a strict diet, a curfew, and a mean coach.  Yes, the athlete will find the strictest coach he can possibly find to correct all of his bad habits, slowing techniques, laziness, and sloppiness.  Each time he is corrected he knows his coach has one goal - to make him a better athlete.  There will seldom be a day of training without a criticism or a "let's try that again, and again, and again."

Want to be a "gold medal" Christian? Want to be the best wife for your husband? How about being the best you can be as a daughter, student, friend, or bus worker?
I don't count myself as an achiever of all of these but I have been an observer for a long while. There is a definite quality of "gold medal" Christians and that is the ability to receive rebuke, reproof, instruction, and correction with the right heart attitude, make the changes, and move ahead.

Proverbs 9:7 - He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot. ⁸Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee. ⁹Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning. ¹⁰The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. ¹¹For by me thy days shall be multiplied, and the years of thy life shall be increased. ¹²If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: but if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.


Psalm 141:5 - Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.


The best teachers I've had in my life were the teachers who were not afraid to correct me.  The best piano teachers I had were the ones who corrected every small mistake in rhythm, note reading, and technique.  The best friends I've had in my life did not always agree with me, they stood for truth instead of my opinions.  At the time I did not appreciate correction or criticism, but with maturity I saw the value of that person laying their personal gain of my affection aside in order for me to reach my potential.  After working for Dr. Bob Gray for twenty-seven years I learned that we can survive correction, memos, rebuke, reproof, and instruction.  These things are not given to make us bitter or make us hate, they are given for us to be better, to knock off the rough edges of our ways, to polish us to a brilliant shine for His glory!

As a teacher I will not be able to help one hundred percent of my students.  I can teach the same lesson, give the same demerits, and have the same counseling sessions and end up with many different results - all depending upon how the student responds to the correction.  One major problem in dealing with young adults is when the parents stand between the teacher and student to "shield" them from the process.  When this happens the only one who is hurt is the student.  Instead of allowing a godly influence to "polish" their child, the child will have to be "polished" by life and bad experiences they could have avoided. Please parents, allow your child to go through the process of correction and see how they respond.  You are there to help them find the right response and to be a happy adult.

How to respond to correction from authority:
1. Listen attentively, without interruption.
2. Do not disagree or try to talk your way out of it
3. Take time to pray and get over the emotions
4. Do not call anyone to give them your side of the story or to "tell" on your authority
5. Realize that the authority is not your enemy, they are your best friends.
6. Pray and ask for the Lord's forgiveness.
7. Apologize to the authority.  If you sincerely believe you were misunderstood, hold your peace. (Jesus did not answer His accusers, even though He was completely innocent) It will all come to light in God's timing.
8. Thank the Lord for people who care enough to try to help you.  It is always easier to avoid problems and "sweep them under the rug."
9. Smile and go on for God.
10. You will reap what  you sow with your children and those under your authority.

It's not the easy way, but it's the winning way!

Service with a Smile

(photo: my mom, Bachi, with Alyssa, age ten)
Deuteronomy 28:47-48
Because thou servedst not the LORD thy God with joyfulness, and with gladness of heart, 
for the abundance of all things; 
⁴⁸Therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies 
which the LORD shall send against thee, 
in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, 
and in want of all things: 
and he shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck, 
until he have destroyed thee.

There are two ways to look at how we fulfill our Christian responsibilities and obedience to commands - Service or Slavery.  I have had many "slavery" moments, when I felt like I (alone) was "suffering for Jesus", going without sleep, monetary gain, recognition, answering the phone at all hours, etc... Those are and were miserable times.

Evidently the Lord was not pleased with His children in this passage.  He had given them the abundance of all things, protection, and guidance.  Their attitude was not one of joy or gladness of heart, it must have been the opposite - like mine sometimes...

So, he let them know in advance that the hunger, thirst, nakedness, a yoke of iron, want of all things, and destruction He would be sending their way would be a direct result of this attitude.  I have tried not to judge the children of Israel too harshly,  they did not have the Bible in completion and in their laps as we now have ours.  We are so much more accountable because of the knowledge we've been given but that's another devotional.

I can almost understand being less than joyful when you have to walk a half a mile to get water to brush your teeth, oh, never mind, they didn't have tooth brushes!  Here, today, in 2010, with our electricity, phones, cell phones, cars, computers, printers, copy machines, fax machines, air conditioning, heating, Iphones, ready-to-bake cookies, Kindles, Canon cameras with humongous lenses, washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, indoor plumbing, etc...let us serve the Lord with JOYFULNESS and GLADNESS OF HEART!  What is the big deal?  Why do we get so cranky? 

Maybe it's too much Bible knowledge and not enough labor, or too much labor and not enough Bible knowledge, too much "want" and not enough "getting", or too much work and not enough time to pray.  Write our your schedule, mark the times when your joy runs out.  Is it teaching five piano lessons in a row?  Cut back to four in a row.  Is it after three hours of non-stop typing?  Cut back to two hours and fifty-nine minutes of non-stop typing.  Is it when your child is punished at school?  Don't get made at the school, take care of it at home and they'll be glad to get punished at school!  Analyze your crankiness, find the cause, and STOP IT!  Just stop it!  That's our family's new motto for any problem. :)

If your joy leaves in response to a direct commandment in Scripture that's a different ballgame.  If soul winning, Bible reading, prayer time, church attendance, submission to authority, obeying laws, etc... takes your "joy", maybe your "joy maker" is broken or needs an adjustment.  Selfishness and rebellion do a lot of damage to our emotional responses.  Did I say "rebellion", that's what it is, plain and simple.  Non-submission is rebellion.  Disobedience is.... sin.  Did I say "sin", this is supposed to be a nice, lady-like devotional.  These things hidden under our "service" to God are the "joy-zappers".  Again, just stop it.  Give everything to God, your wants, your plans, your controlling nature, your agenda, and your calendar.  Again, just stop it and smile.

If you've decided to give your life to God or if you are already one of His servants, it's up to you...Service or Slavery?  If I live to be seventy, I have twenty-three years left on this earth.  I want them to be happy and blessed years, months, days, and minutes of walking with the Lord.  Let's decide to serve with a smile!

Make Me Beautiful

"Make Me Beautiful..."

A lesson taught for the Texas Baptist College Ladies' Split Chapel - 2008

I love the friends God has given me.  When I stop to think about each one and how they have helped me along my path I am overwhelmed.  When I started writing my friends' names on my prayer list I couldn't stop writing and thinking of how God uses my them in my life almost every day.  One of my goals is to be as good a friend to them as they have been to me.  It's not about gifts, money, or lunch dates, which are fine, it is a "state of being."  It is being a help, an encouragement, an example, someone with whom to share a laugh or tears, someone just to listen...

When I was younger I was painfully shy - so painfully shy that I would not answer a door, a phone, or a question from a person who was not in my family.  God did a work on me, but it was not just through His word or teaching, it was through good teachers, church members, and friends he put into my life.  The friends you choose have the power to help make you into "God's image" (beautiful) or into man's image.

Friend, Terri Dixon, age ten (1973) - super athlete, math wiz, loved God and stood for right, no fear

Proverbs 27:17 - Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

1.     Good relationships can improve many areas of our lives – noticeable improvement in behavior, a positive attitude, healthy physical traits, spiritual growth, mental stimulation, emotional stability.  These are the effects that Terri Dixon had on me.  I was a tall, gangly, shy, fearful, self-abhorring kid.  She had no fear, played every sport with every fiber of her being, never shied away from standing for God, plus she believed in me.  For some strange reason she saw some traits that I had that she didn't and she built me up to focus on those strengths.  For six years she was my friend and cheerleader in life.  God sent me that friend and I am still grateful.

F    Friend, Karen Mosley, age 14 (1977) - singer, artist, great taste in clothing, kind heart and love for people - Proverbs 18:24 -  A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. 

2.     A good relationship produces unconditional love and friendliness to other Christians and to the lost.  God sent Karen as a friend during a time when most teens in our youth department weren't interested in spiritual things.  Karen's family moved to Longview to go to Longview Baptist Temple and appreciated everything and every opportunity the church had to offer.  The Mosley's opened a natural food store, had a large garden, and taught me about a healthy and godly lifestyle.  Her parents were even more strict than mine and I needed this in my life.   I spent many hours at their home and know that I am a better person for that friend that God sent to me.  Karen was the most unselfish person I know and she encouraged me and applauded my accomplishments, never being jealous.  I found a card she made for the me other day and was amazed that a fifteen or sixteen-year-old girls took the time to make it.  It is a large card with an embroidered border on the front.  Each letter is cut out by hand and the artwork is beautiful.  I've kept that card for over thirty years and it always reminds me that God sent me a wonderful friend like Karen.

Friend, Jo Hovind, age 18, (1981) - pianist, role model, music coordinator, organist - Proverbs 17:17 -  A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity

3.     A good relationship produces loyalty to right, no matter if it causes pain.  It never turns others from their godly authorities.  When Dr. Bob Gray came to be our pastor in 1980, Jo and Kent Hovind and their family followed from Illinois.  As history will verify, we had a giant church split.  Many of my mentors, all of the musical ones, left the church.  God sent Jo Hovind to me to teach me and encourage me to follow my new pastor.  She taught me how to play the piano for church, how to play a piano duet - our first one was horrible!, and how to play piano and organ duets.  She introduced me to key changes, modulations, introductions, glissandos, and every tool that I would need to play the piano in church.  She also taught me to accept the talents and training I had as a musician.  She was an encourager, a loving example and friend, thoughtful, all while having a family of her own.  She was my friend in a time of adversity and she was a gift from God.

Proverbs 27:6  Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Bad relationships

1.     Produce a downward trend – physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally

2.     Produces conditional love and possessive, selfish, traits.  Cliques, small circle of friends, etc…

3.     Produces loyalty to personality, not to truth.

4.     You lose your influence for right when you isolate yourself or try to isolate your friends. 

5.     You lose your testimony and people’s respect level drops for you.

How do you remedy a bad relationship?

1.     Make Jesus your best friend – Proverbs 18:24 - Proverbs 18:24   A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

2.     Include those who are overlooked, or those you don’t know well.

3.     Pray for people you know and work with every day.

4.     Allow your friends and family to have other friends.  Never forbid them to speak to anyone – whether male or female, unless you are married.
     When you lose a friend's closeness because of moving away, going separate ways, or just plain growing up, know that God will send you a new friend or that you should look to be a friend to someone else.  Allow your friends to grow and have their space, then you'll be able to experience new people, viewpoints, and God may just teach you something through that person!

Drink more coffee...

"Drink more coffee! Do dumb things faster with more energy!"

I have cut back on the coffee, too bad it hasn't helped with doing dumb things faster, with more energy! Have you ever done something and afterwards felt just plain ridiculous?  How about saying something and then feeling "lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut?"  Yes, I am a master of this.  Like the ride shown above, I have forced myself to get on out of peer pressure or sheer stupidity, only to be sick and feel worse afterwards.  No great decision-making application there.   Have you ever bought an outfit that was meant for another body type, just because you convinced yourself it would work?  When you got to church you ducked behind every SUV, pew, wall, anything to hide your poor choice?  Yes, all of these are familiar to me.

I believe God allows us to pull some "dumb stunts", not just the major sins that will hurt us, but less-than-perfect actions that will cause us to stop and say, "I'm not all I'm cracked up to be!"  Every once in a while God lets us "fall on the ice" just to show us we are human and not super-heroes.

Luke 7:40-50 - I love this truth from the Bible and have shared it with many girls at our church.  I need it myself on a regular basis.
⁴⁰And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on. ⁴¹There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty. ⁴²And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? ⁴³Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged. ⁴⁴And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head. ⁴⁵Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet. ⁴⁶My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment.⁴⁷Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. ⁴⁸And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.⁴⁹And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that forgiveth sins also? ⁵⁰And he said tothe woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.


We will love more the more we're forgiven!  Wow! No wonder our love levels grow as we age!  I have to make decisions on a daily basis and have made some doozies.  After pulling an especially dumb stunt I asked the Lord and then my pastor to forgive me.  They both did!  I was still feeling pretty low and embarrassed from the "fall".  On my way out of the church building one of my friends and helpers asked about what to do about a college lady who just pulled a dumb stunt, not breaking a handbook rule.  My first and only reaction was,  "Let's give her a warning, explain the problem, and give a little growing grace."  I felt much better when I was able to pass along the love and forgiveness!
Our shortcomings allow us to go to Jesus' arms and get a big hug, ask for forgiveness, and know what unconditional love is all about.
The next morning I was still giving myself a hard time, Jesus stopped the night before, I was still "what iffing".  I emailed someone who I thought I might have hurt with my actions to ask for forgiveness.  I received this response: "I was so relieved when you did that!  It made me know that you are human and gave me hope to go on one more day!"  She will never know how those words helped me stop kicking myself.  All of us are only human, by the grace and love of Jesus we can try our best to faithfully serve him.  We might all cut back on the coffee...did I say that?